In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
