i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My penis needs a shock collar
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
