can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
