if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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