You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
