ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
