look no pants
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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