you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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