I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
