I just threw up on my dentist
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He felt like a one man threesome
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
