i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
