There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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