You smell like stripper and shame
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
