i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
