The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
