So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
