Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
