I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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