idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I lost the right to judge tonight
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
