Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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