I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
