I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
