everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
