either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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