I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have post one night stand depression
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