last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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