it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
