Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
