My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
