you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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