these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
