and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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