You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
