That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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