3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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