If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Houston, we have a squirter
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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