Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
