okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
