Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

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(904): View more from Florida

my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center

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(907): View more from Alaska

It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.

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(209): View more from California

I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."

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