dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
