Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
