So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
