and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
