having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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