his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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