hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
