Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
