she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
