In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
