He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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