More tranny stories later!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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